The Search

   A couple of months after Pasado's mother died, his father Olvido went in the search of a new wife. He walked for about three minutes and stopped to rest from his tiring journey. If he was to look back he could still see his house; if he was to listen closely he could still listen to Pasado's crying. He never looked back nor listened closely. Instead he looked to one side from his resting point and saw a young girl called Viento. Olvido and Viento looked at each other and smiled. Two weeks later they were looking at each other and smiling but this time it was inside a church and they were being called husband and wife.

Coraje
   Olvido wanted to take his new wife to live with his old family. Pasados older sister Coraje did not approve and got in to a discussion with Olvido Coraje was tired from crying, weak from missing her mother, and terrified by the fact that she now had to take care of the entire family. Coraje was the oldest and so automatically received the responsibility of being in charge of the family. The day that her father got married Coraje was feeding Pasado and crying at the same time. I asked her what was wrong, pretending not to know what the father was doing. With watery eyes Coraje looked at me and said, remember how hard my mother worked to buy me my quinciañera ring? My father took it away from me. He give it to his new wife as an engagement ring. Worst of all he wants to bring her to this house, this house that my mother built with her own hands

    Olvido and Viento started a new life, a life full of dreams and hopes a life in which Olvidos first family was not included. While Olvido and Viento were thinking and looking at the future they had ahead, Coraje was crying with no hopes of a good tomorrow. Olvido would sometimes visit Pasado, though his presence in the house only reassured his absence in the family.
Motivacion
   When Pasado was two years old, his older sister Coraje got married. Her husband Motivacion lived in a place two thousand miles north called El Norte. Motivacion was a native of Santa Rosa but he like others had moved to Norte in search of a better life. Coraje moved to this place with her husband and spent her honeymoon picking endless fields of strawberries. Coraje would work twice as hard as other workers. She had no choice's, she was financially supporting Pasado and the rest of the family. Pasado grew up thinking that his older sister was his mother. Coraje would go back to her hometown every two years to visit her brother and sisters. I remember that Pasado would call her mama; she would take him everywhere and treat him like a real son. Pasado told me that the time he spent with Coraje was the best time of his childhood, a time of abundance. There was always plenty of food in the table and the house was filled with happiness, warmth, and light.
Coraje could only stay with Pasado for a month. She would part to her long journey to El Norte crying, leaving part of her heart behind. Pasado felt that his mother loved him very much but he could not understand why she had to leave. As soon as Coraje would leave, the house was again filled with sadness, hardly any light went inside, and the walls got very cold.
Lunchtime
   I remember when Pasado started going to school. He was very smart and would always do his homework. He did not have many friends but he was doing alright. During lunchtime he would watch all the kids play different games and sports. He wanted to play with them but he was never invited. One day while he was watching the kids play a little girl approached him. The little girl sat right next to him and started asking him questions. When she asked him where his mother was, Pasado answered by telling her that his mother lived in a place far away called el Norte. The little girl started laughing and told him that his mother was dead and that the person that lived in el Norte was his sister not his mother. Pasado started crying, as something inside of him already knew that the girl was right, but it was too painful for him to accept it. He didn't wanted to be different, he wanted to be like the rest of the kids. He ignored and tried to forget what the girl said; it was easier for him to accept a lie than to live the reality.
Apoyo
   When Pasado was four years old his sister Apoyo got pregnant. He could not understand why his sister was going to have a baby if she was not married. During her pregnancy Apoyo could not go out of the house. It seemed that she was embarrassed of what was growing inside of her. When Olvido went to talk to Apoyo he yelled at her, and expressed how disappointed he was with her. Apoyo looked at him and said, "you think I am proud of what you have done?" Olvido did not say anything he turned around and left. Apoyo did not smile for a long time, finally giving birth to a beautiful boy. The boy was full of life, but Apoyo's face looked tired and her eyes were black, black like an empty bag of hope, black like the deepest sadness. Apoyo named the little boy Ilusion.

    Pasado was happy that there was a baby to play with, not knowing that the baby was the seed of a bad fruit, not knowing that his sister was going to be seen as a bad woman for the rest of her life. She was judged and punished by her culture and traditions, obtaining a sentence for life.

Continued....


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