First time college students face visual and invisible barriers to achieve their dream to receive post-secondary education. The high school tracking system is an invisible barrier that many students struggle with. We found this was a way that kept students oppressed through the academic system. Their schools challenged many of these students we interviewed, as a class. Some were kept down in lower division courses because they perceived them as difficult due to bad grades or language barriers. In the article titled "Keeping Close to Home: Class and Education, bell hooks writes, "studying in Stanford, I began to think seriously about class differences. To be materially underprivileged at a university where most folks (with the exception of workers) are materially privileged provokes such thought. Class differences were boundaries none wanted to face or talk about it" (6). This quote is a clear example of how many low-income, first generation students feel, when they leave their niches to pursue their education at a university. As these first generation students try and transition to both college and family life they also struggle with barriers such as class differences.
Many first generation students find themselves struggling with the financial worries in which a higher education brings. That is why it is so difficult for students like Pedro Gonzalez, who has to support himself while in school in order to help out his family and prevent his education from turning into a burden to his parents. Gonzalez's family has a lot of concerns about college expenses:
Even if they don't want to admit it. I try not to involve them on paying for my tuition. Just because I know all of their expense... It has changed in the way; I want to do it on my own with out their help. It's not being mean to them, its me trying to help them out, trying not to ask too much from them, because they gave me a lot already. Since they day I was born, to the day I am here they gave me a lot of help a lot of money and that is enough. Now I am starting to pay them back, taking my education a big step forward" Pedro. 'College is all about you being responsible for yourself and how your life is gonna be in the future and you making of the way you want it to be. My personal view is that I will do it on my own. If I have to loans, I will do loans. But so far I am pretty proud to say to you that I have only taken one loan and that was my freshman year. Looking back at it, I wish I wouldn't have. You have to think about what services are out there that you can take advantage of, get a hold of, so that you can save some money... I have a job here at the university. I am gonna say that I do get paid good money to do it. But when I really look at it. It's not enough for all the stuff that I am doing. Right now my supervisor left eight months ago and that another thing about this university, management...How long did it take them? Eight months. So I had to be running the place for eight months. My supervisor was getting paid somewhereabout $56,000 a year. We get paid under $15,000. And I ran this place for eight months. That is how I pay for my tuition and college life. I have two jobs. One of them is part time but there is more of it. The R.A. position because there is all these meetings, all these things you have to meet in order to be an R.A. all these programs you have to do for your students. Which is cool I don't have anything against it sometimes it is just a little too much" Pedro." If my family's financial situation was a lot better, "I think I would still do the same thing that I am doing right know. The way I wanna' do it, I wanna' do it on my own. If they have money great. They can support themselves even better. They can support my brother or my sister. That wouldn't change. (188-254)
Gonzalez strongly believes in education and even though it is extremely difficult for him to be solely financially responsible for his education, his intentions are to make it on his own are understandable. Gonzalez wants to prove that first generation college students pursue a higher education because they have the intellectual capacity and determination to achieve success. By reading the following quote one can almost feel the joy that Gonzalez's mother felt when he was told the news of his acceptance to a university. It is ironic that he was informed that he was accepted to CSUMB while working in the broccoli fields.
When I was in high school I worked in the summersnot because my parents made me do itit was me I wanted to do it. I wanted to have money for myself and to help them out. It was a summer that I got a letter from ETS (Educational Talent Search), asking me to come to a program called F.O.C.U.S. It is a mini bridge program preparing us for college. They announced me to look this college as a possible university to attend. Augie and Cesar helped me fill out my application and all my work. I did it for a week and then I went back and went to work in the Broccoli fields in Greenfield. All of a sudden I got a call on the walkie-talkie. I was putting the boxes of the Broccoli together in the traveler. He said, "hey I got message for you." He passed the walkie-talkie to me. It was my supervisor's brother who is his supervisor. He said " Pedro I got some news for you." And then, I think Marielena had called the main supervisor, Roberto. She told him that I got accepted to the university. Roberto called Gustavo my supervisor. He hands the walkie-talkie, he told me he got a call that I got accepted. I was pretty happy, I told my mom (she started screaming) she was packing broccoli she stopped and said she was very proud of me. It was good. All she could do was smile. She was so happy. Her dream for me to go to college was going to be complete.
Indeed financial issues affect and can burden the academic achievements of students. It seems that the men feel a sense of responsibility to take care of their own financial situations. (Of course these barriers are not exclusive to men alone.) Some of the students had financial struggles that caused burdens on their families and drastic changes need to be made in order to have financial stability. Such is the case of Juanita Lopez who had to abandon the university dormitories and move back home in order to save money. Juanita Lopez struggled to financially make it and expresses this in the quote below.
...Last spring, fall '99, going into my third year that I went back home...I wasn't getting enough coverage. Like, money - wise, through loans... I'm not going to stack up loans, and I'm up to $5000 right now and I'm I said you know I'm at $5000 and I am a sophomore. You know, how much am I going to owe by the time I you know, $10,000? Maybe for other people it might be like, hey, you know, that's not bad because it's expensive at other schools but for us, it's a lot of money. A lot of money! That was another reason why I went back home. Say, you know, forget it! And then it's it's really different and it's really hard because when I say, you know, I'm commuting and I'm not spending as much time as I would, you know, in school and activities. I'm just working, going to school, and I've noticed that because I'm back home, I'm kind of with the idea of, why am I in school? You know, I don't know, I'm kind of like not into school as much as I was the past few years. Now I'm kind of like, I don't know maybe it's just this semester, I'm hoping it's just this semester. But it's - it made a big difference, it made a big difference. Yeah
As a result of economic problems, sometimes students do not get the opportunity to live on campus where they have easier access to critical support. Living on campus can make it easier to consult with professors if they have concerns about assignments, exchange ideas and information they are learning in class with other students, do homework without family distractions, or participate in study groups. Professor Alberto Ledesma shares that he had to live at home due to his family's economic situation. "I would lock myself up the in room that I had and try to read. What I used to do is, because we lived in very small house. So, during the day of course, that is the meeting place. My mom is also in the kitchen; my brother and sisters were always there. So, if I wanted to do any work I had to do it at night, from midnight to the morning". López's story seems to be a repeated one. At the same time these stories reaffirm how much economic differences affect their academic success. When asked how her studying situation is now that she has moved back home, López replied,
It's bad. And I think that's thank you! That's a good question. You know it's the second semester then, at home, last semester, I noticed that, you know, my study habits were just, bad. They were starting to .. I had to .. kind of accommodate myself to what what was there, you know. I have a two-bedroom house. Kitchen, living room, dining room, a younger sister at home. My older sister moved in because she had a baby, and then we have a teacher from Mexico living with us. So, it's a full house right now. And it's hard, and I've noticed that maybe that's the reason that I don't want to study. That's, maybe that's the reason why I don't want to go to school anymore because I'm seeing around me that nobody's going to school! Only my younger sister, my mom works at a school but, I'm the only one that has to stay up late, I'm the only one that you know, has to read a lot, and I can't yeah, I could tell them what I'm learning but I can't discuss it. It's pretty much teaching them, too.
López's struggles to be at home and fulfill her dream of a higher education is inclusive to the story Professor Alberto Ledesma tells and how financial burdens can impact students' studies. First generation students seem to have success and more access to resources if they live on campus.